


Pastrami

by Anonymous



Category: Buzzfeed The Try Guys (Web Series)
Genre: M/M, May Contain Traces of Plot, Sandwiches, Sex, Try Guys Eat Sandwiches
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-08-15
Updated: 2018-08-15
Packaged: 2019-06-27 20:07:42
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,239
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15692490
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/
Summary: “Jeez, this is already sexual.” Eugene sat back, bringing his own hand to his mouth to lick off the spilled sauce. The pink tip of his tongue stood out against the white smears. “I can’t imagine doing this in front of people. What?”Zach blinked, realizing he’d been staring. He closed his mouth.





	Pastrami

“... and also, Ned and Ariel are getting a divorce.”

Eugene halted in the middle of stacking the last few chairs. “What?”

Zach smirked. The Try Guys had wrapped up their reading of the three selected fanfictions about an hour ago – which had been just as much fun as he had predicted – and since then, Eugene had been toddling around like a confused duckling. 

“You haven’t been listening to a word I said, have you?”

“Sorry.” Eugene put the chair down and sat, rubbing a hand over his face. “I was just. The fanfiction weirded me out.”

“I thought you were okay with it?”

He even said so, _on_ camera. It would be a shame to throw out that footage, just because Eugene suddenly got too awkward. Which had... almost never happened before.

“Yeah, but now I can’t stop thinking about sandwiches. The kind you eat,” Eugene added.

Zach wriggled his brows. “You ate _all_ of them.”

Eugene made a disgusted noise.

Zach laughed and turned to face the room. “Hey, people. We’re going for dinner. Anyone wanna come along?”

As if on cue, Keith’s cellphone rang. “And that’s Becky.” He picked up the call. “Yeah, hi. As I was just trying to tell the others, I’m on my way. Almost?”

“And I have a baby,” said Ned, watching Keith hurry out the door.

Zach rolled his eyes. “We’re aware. Hey, Gene. Looks like it’s gonna be just us. We can take my car.”

He smiled widely.

“We could just take both cars,” Eugene pointed out.

“But that’s bad for the environment.”

It got him a dubious look, but then Eugene left to collect his things.

Zach himself had deposited his stuff directly by the door, so he could just grab it when they were heading out. Preparedness, baby.

Eugene caught up with him as he headed towards his car.

“Are you really free tonight? You don’t have to hang around if you’re busy.”

“Nah, it’s cool.” Zach waved his hand. “I just have to walk Bowie later. So, where did you want to go?”

Eugene didn’t even pause. “What’s the greasiest, fattiest sandwich place you know?”

“Whole foods.”

“Zach.”

They threw their stuff in the trunk. Once in the car, Zach waited for Eugene to buckle up, before he turned the key in the ignition. Safety first, after all. He pulled onto the street with maybe a little bit more force than necessary. “Look, we both know I’m gonna die of diarrhea one day, but it will not be tonight, so. Subway?”

Even keeping his eyes on the road, he could _hear_ Eugene thinking. Or, well, weighing the time it would take to convince him to go somewhere _unfamiliar_ against the chance of getting food faster. Eventually, he gave in. “To-go, though. I’m not in the mood to deal with other people right now.”

“As his majesty commands,” Zach said dryly.

Out of the corner of his eyes, he could see Eugene tense. He was quick to mask it with nonchalance. If they hadn’t been friends for so long, Zach probably wouldn’t even have noticed.

“You’re not ‘other people,’ by the way.”

“I’d hope so,” Zach smirked and decided to let up a little. He’d have plenty of time to grill Eugene about his mood later. “We can go to my place and watch a movie or something.”

Eugene relaxed. “Thanks.”

 

* * *

 

The put on a horrifically edited horror movie – actually, the Worst Movie Of All Time – got some cold beer out of Zach’s understacked fridge and started eating. Which was harder than it sounded, because like a few other girthy things, the falafel sandwich refused to fit into Zach’s mouth. He repositioned it, looking for the best angle. “How... just how do people do this?”

Eugene paused the ceremonial unwrapping of his meat-filled delight. “Open your mouth.”

“I’m trying!”

“Wider.”

Eugene placed his hand over Zach’s and gave the sandwich a shove. “Bite it. Come on, like the Blow Job Shot.”

“Mrrrph!” said Zach. Mayonnaise squirted out of the side and over both their fingers. He tried very hard not to gag. 

“Well, don’t do it _exactly_ like the Blow Job Shot.”

“Mrrrm.”

Since Eugene wasn’t letting go, Zach’s only option was to chew. The bread was so dry he reached for his beer on instinct.

“Jeez, this is already sexual.” Eugene sat back, bringing his own hand to his mouth to lick off the spilled sauce. The pink tip of his tongue stood out against the white smears. “I can’t imagine doing this in front of people. What?”

Zach blinked, realizing he’d been staring. He closed his mouth, cheeks heating. “Um? What what?”

He looked around for a piece of paper towel to wipe his own fingers, but couldn’t find one. There weren’t even any in the bag, or if there had been, Eugene had thrown them somewhere in his search for the food. With a sigh, Zach did it like Eugene.

He caught the other man’s gaze.

“What?”

It came out muffled, as he was sucking on his fingers.

Eugene turned back to the TV. “Nothing.”

Silence followed while they were both busy with the food. The overly dramatic effects and comical screaming from the admittedly terrible movie drowned out any other sound – even the scratching of Bowie’s paws when he suddenly bounded past to chase a toy around the coffee table.

Zach shooed the dog back into his cage, recompensing him with a few treats for having to be quiet. Then he went to depose of their empty sandwich wrappers and came back with more beer. “Want another?”

Eugene’s eyes stayed intently on the screen. “Have you ever thought about us that way?”

Zach flopped down next to him and cracked one of the cans. “I know you have. Lie detectors don't lie.”

Eugene kicked his shin. “Answer the question, Zach.”

“Ow!”

“Don't make a big deal out of this.”

Considering Eugene was still staring at the movie like it was the most interesting thing he had ever seen, Zach wasn’t sure _he_ was the one making the big deal. To be honest, he found it all – meaning the whole day – more amusing than anything. Usually it was the other way round. But he didn’t get that many opportunities to tease Eugene, so he had to grab this one while it presented itself for a belly-rub. “You said that exact same thing when I _blew your job_.”

“That was a drink,” Eugene replied flatly. “And you drooled all over me.”

“Yeah.” Zach grinned. “Every fangirl’s best memory.”

Eugene glared. Then he leaned over, using his height to look down at Zach. “Have you thought about dating me?”

There was an urgency in his tone Zach couldn’t quite decipher. He frowned. “Gosh, Gene, what do you want me to say? That I imagine us ‘eating sandwiches’ every time I rub one out?”

That had clearly been the wrong thing to say. Zach regretted it immediately when his friend’s eyes widened and he abruptly brought some distance between them. “Sorry. Didn’t mean it that way.”

Eugene’s face betrayed nothing. For the first time in a very long time, Zach couldn’t read his expression. He sighed. “Yes I have. After you kissed me that time with the high heels.”

Eugene’s eyes widened. “What?”

“You were pretty drunk. Also the other times,” Zach explained, waving his hand.

“I kissed you _multiple_ times?! When? Why?! How?”

Zach made a thoughtful face and started counting off on his fingers. “That time with the high heels, that time we were out with Hannah and that other time after you drank a drink from every state. Full on, although your tongue-control goes kinda out of the window the more you've imbibed. I also licked your balls at UCI.”

“Those weren’t my balls,” Eugene corrected.

“Don't make such a big deal out of this,” Zach parroted back his earlier statement. “You liked it, I liked it, done.”

“You liked it?”

Zach swirled his beer can and shrugged. “You know how much action I get on a normal day. I'm really not that picky.”

“And you don't think it's weird because we're friends,” said Eugene. It wasn’t a question.

Honestly, Zach hadn’t thought about it that much. Which was, yeah, a bit unusual because he _liked_ overthinking things. It gave him control. Being prepared was the only advantage he had over his friends, at least in front of the cameras. Apart from being cute, but what guy actually liked being called cute? Maybe Eugene. Zach wisely didn’t say that out loud. Instead, he met Eugene’s eyes: “I trust you.”

And so much more.

Eugene’s eyes were dark in the flickering screen light. In the background, an ill-fitting female lead screamed hysterically, but neither of them paid any attention. The silence stretched out as they just looked at each other. The air between them felt charged.

Zach didn’t know what was the tipping point – licking his lips, maybe, or their thighs brushing – but all at once, Eugene was on him. His large hands pressed Zach’s shoulders into the back of the couch. He mashed their faces together.

“Eu- ge-”

“Shut up, Zach,” Eugene ordered, and dove in tongue-first. He slid a hand into Zach’s hair, his grip like iron on the short strands, and tilted his head.

Zach couldn’t do anything but open his lips to the onslaught. Then Eugene’s tongue was in his mouth, wet and greasy and insistent. He moaned, sinking into the feeling of being ravenously kissed. Heat prickled on his skin like needles.

Eugene’s breath hitched. He pulled Zach tight against him, knocking his glasses off. They fell to the couch and Eugene kept pulling.

Zach floundered. “Wait, my butt!”

But it was too late. With a muffled yelp, he fell off the couch and onto Eugene. Together, they tumbled to the floor.

“Ow,” Zach groaned, glancing up at Eugene. Who, of course, looked completely put together, even with Bowie nosing at his hair. The only sign that anything at all had happened were his shiny lips.

“Your butt what?”

“We shouldn’t do this here.”

“Rrright.”

Eugene looked away. Now there was definitely a blush creeping over his cheeks. It was... kind of adorable.

Zach climbed to his feet and held out his hand. “No, I meant we shouldn’t do this _on the floor_. We should totally do this.”

Eugene searched his face. Whatever he was looking for, he apparently found it, because he pulled Zach against him again, winding his arms around his waist.

Laughing, Zach stopped him. Eugene’s chest heaved under his hands. “The bedroom is literally right there,” he pointed out, and laughed even harder when Eugene just dragged him along.

They made it down the hallway without tripping over themselves or each other and only half a dozen stops for more frantic kissing. As soon as they stumbled through the door, Eugene tacked Zach down onto his bed.

Zach caught his hands. “Whoa, slow down there, cowboy.”

“There are no Korean cowboys,” Eugene pointed out, turned his wrist out of Zach’s grip and returned his nimble fingers to working on the button of Zach’s fly.

“There was one in that movie you made us watch with the three guys chasing through China to save Japan and in the end they all die in a Mexican standoff,” Zach grumbled, just to be contrary.

Eugene burst out laughing, teeth glinting in the dark. Whatever spell the night seemed to have cast over him broke a little. He let his head loll onto Zach’s chest. “Oh my god.”

Zach ran a hand through Eugene’s black curls. They were scratchy with product, but Eugene all but purred.

Zach’s fingers found the buttons of Eugene’s jeans jacket and opened it. He wasn’t wearing anything under it, which made sliding his hands over smooth, gloriously naked skin much easier. He rubbed his thumbs down Eugene’s sides and settled around his back, just holding him close.

Eugene nipped his jaw in response, moving to tongue at his ear.

Zach chuckled. “You’re totally a closet cuddler.”

“And you’re an octopus. Let go.”

Zach hooked both legs around Eugene. “Nice try. I know how much you love seafood.”

“Thanks, now I’m thinking about fish eyes,” Eugene said dryly. “Do all your dates end with your partner weirded out?”

“You like fish eyes.”

“That is totally beside the point.”

“If you say so.” Letting go, Zach sat up, squinting in the darkness. Eugene pushed his jacket off his sleek torso and tossed it out of the way. The pants followed instantly. It was hard to see more than a vague outline in the dark but Zach had seen his friends naked often enough to fill in the blanks.

“Speaking of eyes, yours are really pretty,” he said, definitely not looking at his _eyes_.

Eugene snorted. “You can’t even see anything without your glasses and the lights off. Try again.”

Laughing, Zach shook his head. He slipped out of bed and padded over to turn on a lamp. Low, orange glow filled the room, dim enough not to hurt while they adjusted. Shadows danced over Eugene’s skin. With his hair all over the place, he looked absolutely devourable. Zach wanted to touch him, stroke his skin and kiss his neck, and be touched in return. “How...,” he gulped. “How do you wanna do this?”

“Have you done a dude before?”, Eugene asked, sitting up straighter. He reddened. “I don’t think I’ve seen you with another guy, ever.”

“Nope.” Zach sat down on the bed and pulled his t-shirt off. “Try guys for life!”

Eugene shook his head, clearly unimpressed. “Give me my pants.”

Zach hesitated. He wondered if he’d ruined it all with that one careless declaration of inexperience. But then he wordlessly fished the garments off the floor and handed them over.

Eugene stuck a hand in each pocket, fumbled for a moment and deflated. “Fuck.”

Ah. Zach snickered at his friend’s stricken face. “You were never a boy scout.”

He reached over to the night stand and pulled out a string of condoms, checking the date. They were lucky... although he was pretty sure they’d have found ways to amuse themselves anyway. The tube of lube was unopened, so he handed it over.

Eugene checked the label, face unreadable, pulled the seal off the top and squirted a good amount on his outstretched fingers. He spread it around.

For a moment, Zach felt adrift. Was this his clue to lay down and... take it? They should discuss this before jumping into it. “Eug–”

But Eugene just rolled over, pushed Zach’s nice, clean pillow under his junk and rubbed a lubed finger down his crack. It caught on his taint, stopping to draw circles into the soft flesh before finding the pucker and pressing inside.

Zach’s breath hitched.

There was an ease and familiarity about his movements that told him Eugene had done this before – and enjoyed it. A second finger was quickly added, the darker skin of his entrance stretching over his knuckles.

Eugene caught Zach’s eyes and smirked. “Want to add some meat topping to Eugene's buns?”

“Don’t speak of yourself in the third person, that’s really not erotic,” Zach grumbled, but it came out strained. He was panting and his cock throbbed against the fabric of his briefs. He couldn’t hide it. Also, he didn’t want to, and Eugene’s eyes dropped to his crotch.

“Looks like Korndaddy likes that idea.”

“If you call me daddy I’m out of here...,” Zach panted, squeezing his cock. “Well, actually. I’m not.”

He pushed his briefs off, freeing his aching erection and slathered it with lube. Then he moved to kneel over Eugene, who withdrew his fingers to give him room. Zach stroked his side, splaying a hand on his friend’s ribs in silent question.

Eugene nodded, turning his head into the mattress. “Yeah.”

Zach pushed in. Blazing heat enveloped him instantly, slick and tight, tensing with Eugene’s hearty groan.

“F...uck. That’s some meat.”

Zach stilled, halfway inside. Pulses of pleasure radiated from where they were joined. “Can you stop with the sandwich puns?”

“But you get turned on by puns.”

Eugene smirked over his shoulder and then, without warning, rocked his hips, taking it all.

Zach’s whole body turned to jelly as more intense pleasure washed through him. His arms gave out. He slumped over Eugene, chest pressed to his friend’s slightly sweaty, warm back, and the skin contact made everything so much better.

“... true,” Zach sighed. He wriggled a little, giving a tentative thrust, and then another one when the response was an encouraging moan. “This okay?”

“Uh. Yeah.”

Eugene spread his legs, jostling them both, positioning himself so he could get some leverage to thrust back.

Zach snaked a hand under his body to grasp his cock. “This?”

“Better,” Eugene groaned. “Way better.”

“You know,” Zach mumbled, kissing Eugene’s shoulder blade because he wasn’t tall enough to reach any higher, “Massaging meat makes it nice and soft.”

“Keep going.”

“Hey,” said Zach, starting to thrust. “Appreciate my pun.” They fell into a rhythm easily, both of them focused on the lust singing through their bodies.

“Grea-, ah,” Eugene cried out at a particularly hard thrust. “Great pun. Can’t wait to tell the others.”

“Okay that’s disturbing,” Zach decided. He pushed himself onto his knees to get a better angle. “No more puns.”

The shift in position must have been exactly right, because at the next thrust, Eugene jolted under him. “Ohmygod,” he moaned, fingers clenched to fists in the sheets.

Zach buried his own sounds against Eugene’s spine as he drove into him harder and faster, spurred on by the ecstatic noises beneath him and the rolling of muscles tensing against waves of pleasure. He couldn’t help but think, right in the middle of it, that Eugene was really good at this – the undulating and the little jerky movements of his hips, and the soft cries getting louder and louder the closer they got.

Just then, Eugene gasped and tensed, dick twitching again and again in Zach’s slim fingers. The sudden, tight pressure around his cock was all it took for Zach to follow him over the edge. He came with a moan, muffled against Eugene’s skin, eyes squeezed shut. Fireworks danced in the darkness behind his lids.

His brain floated. It took a long while to reboot.

With a wheeze, he rolled off Eugene, but not too far. He got rid of the condom as if in trance before flopping back down. They were still somewhat snuggled together – Zach was tactile, he could admit it like a man – shoulders touching.

Eventually, Eugene blinked sleepily at him. “Do you always talk that much?”

“Yeah. Pretty much,” Zach stretched like a cat, half his body stretched over his friend.

Eugene turned under him. “What time it is?”

Zach threw a leg over his waist. “You’re not going home.”

“I have dogs to walk,” said Eugene, trying unsuccessfully to push him off. “Speaking of which.”

A scratching sound came from outside the door. Bowie, likely more than eager by now to get out of the house.

Zach groaned. “Dammit.”

“We can go together,” said Eugene, sitting up and swinging his legs over to dangle from the bed. “Zach? Zach! Wake up!”

A hand shook his shoulder. Zach kept his eyes stubbornly shut.

Eugene sighed. “Seriously, you need to develop some stamina.”

In response, Zach just snored at him.


End file.
